Animal Instincts

I’d be lying if I wasn’t nervous. The human body and mind is very powerful, it can sometimes work with us and sometimes work against us. 

Our brains have evolved into a fascinating piece of hardware. Inside it’s hardware, a certain software runs. This is you, or me in this case.

I have read some chapters and spoken to alot of people about being a father. It’s a task that has been etched into my genes ever since I myself was created. That’s where my nerves start to disappear. I know that when the time comes I will somehow automatically know what to do. 

It isn’t maturity and it isn’t intellect, it’s instinct. This instinct is the same that has survived centuries on our planet. It’s the very purpose some believe we are here ,to procreate. 

I have no worries when it comes to being a father, I trust my instincts and I trust my genes. 

There is some instincts that I have struggled with though, and that’s the fight or flight response. This allowed our ancestors to flee in danger, and fight when faced with certain death. 

We control our environment in the modern world now, so these threats have been placed in zoos or exterminated when they take a bite out of someone at the local beach. It’s not the way we originally inhabitated this planet, so our responses have found new threats in the environment. 

This environment isn’t real though, it’s real in terms of molecules but it’s not real in terms of danger. 

My instincts can’t tell the difference, because my anxiety comes from a work or office environment. I have no genes or instincts to help me in this fabricated world, so I like many others struggle in modern life. 

As we continue to control our environment and create this fabricated world within worlds, many people are starting to be affected by this transition. 

It has a name and it’s becoming the latest celebrity craze, mental health issues.

It’s not our fault though, our instincts and built in software has never had to face such things until now. 

One thing is true and comforting though, as we humans strive to understand our mental health issues we we slowly etch these tools into our genes and pass them onto our children’s children. Eventually the very calmness and automatic nature of being a father will be the same when approaching a proposed threat in society. 

It will take many many years, but as I become a father and place a new human in this world, I can do my part to educate and give tools and strategies to my child to cope with the world at large. 

Educating people on the signs of mental health issues is important to find the sources, which I believe is a environment that we never evolved for. 

~Brad.

Advertisements

Fatherhood

I wonder what it is like to look at something that is half me and half my best friend? I wonder what it is like to look into your own eyes and watch someone just like you think and work their way through life?

It’s not like a mirror, more like a magnifying glass?

I worry about its first breath, I worry about its first day at school. I worry about its first love and its first hate. 

It’s still forming, it’s still being finalised and the finishing touches are getting closer. 

I sing to it, I talk to it. It’s even kicked me in the head already. 

When you come out, don’t worry because I’ll be here. Don’t worry because everything that can hurt you, I will protect you. But from time to time though, you must face this hurt alone. It’s what defines us, what’s makes us grow. You are a blank canvas with some traits etched into your genes. Ultimately you will be like no other, and no other will be like you. 

I’ll guide you and carry you some way, I’ll take you to the highest mountains and we will see the brightest stars. I will pick you up when you are down, and bring you down when you get to high. 

I’ll give you nothing but the truth, I’ll give you some of the skills you need for life, well the skills I have discovered in my time.

See I am still on my journey, I still learn everyday because life never stops growing and changing. I don’t have all the answers, maybe you will though. Maybe you will help me on my journey, maybe you will guide me and protect like I do you.

Maybe you will make me, a father. 

~Brad.